Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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