If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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