Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
