Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
