Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
