some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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