i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize