spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This is my gift to your gina
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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