Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
