I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
