I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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