please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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