Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
im six kinds of drunk right now
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
