I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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