"it" just moved
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
