The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
