On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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