gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
