I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
