More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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