He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
