I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
