what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Hippo gnu deer
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
