I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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