Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
