make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
