i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
