Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
