No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize