Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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