my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
