Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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