im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
