someone threw a dead crab at me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
