Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
now i know why i became what i already was.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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