how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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