yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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