All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
