i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
