Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize