do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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