She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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