we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
