We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
