New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
