This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
