Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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