even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
