farters have to be the big spoon...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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