And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I believe in your delicious
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
