After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
