That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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