just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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