need another drink. this is the easiest way
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
