talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
