and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
