I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
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