Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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