ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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