in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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