Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
too bad you live with your parents still
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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