I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
