So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so explain again why im purple
no
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
